Wild Things

Jodie and I just got back from the movies with our kids. We went to go see Spike Jones' Where The Wild Things Are". It was excellent. It has been probably ten years since I last read the book, but I remember loving it. The movie was no different. It was awesome. Jodie said she didn't "get it". I am sure anyone can parallel their life with that movie, especially if they have kids (kids who fulfilled the curse every mother has wished on her children). I see our family more as the wild things. Quick to wrassle (yes I know it's spelled wrong), but quick to recognize they have hurt another. Max was inspiring, torn between his lust for adventure and his longing for home. I just hope as parents we have more chocolate cake than we do humble pie to serve up when our children return from their adventures. After all, most of us live our lives waiting to watch the adventures unfold.
The long and short, go watch it, it was wonderful.

Frustration

It seems the only time I do blog is when I'm frustrated. This is not my intention, just happens I guess. I will try in the future to write when not feeling frustrated. Today I had semi-confrontations with two people. One who is an unmitigated ass who feels the need to build up his own ego that he sometimes (WARNING !!!! cliche) lets his mouth over-run his arse. Today he felt the need to express what a man he is to our boss that he informed our boss he put me in my place by telling me "Shut up and get the f(*^ out of here." A total lie about an earlier conversation. Funny thing is he did not know I was in the next room while he was rewriting history. The face was priceless when I emerged to question his recounting of the events. That I took great joy in. The second incident is one I do not care to go into very much detail about. Suffice it to say, I probably could have held my tongue a little bit better. What I said was not incorrect, just kind of harsh. In recent years I have learned to hold my tongue quite a bit better, sometimes though eghhh!!. The first encounter, I could care less about the persons feelings, serves him right for lying. The second, is a friend who I sympathize with(which by the way I am not too good at). I suspect life is becoming hard, and I do not believe I can ease it. This person does read my blog, so, I apologize. Communication is essential when one needs help, and people are willing to help, if just to listen. But, I feel like I would be butting into a situation in which I was not welcome if I spoke up on my own. President Reagan is known as the "Great Communicator". Even those who disagree with him, think of him as a good person. The reason is his willingness to communicate, friend or foe. I hope life gets easier soon. If you need and ear..... Call Jodie, she'll listen. Hah. Kidding, although sometimes my ear bites, the advice can be somewhat painful if taken.
Not to keep this cryptic blog going but, we are here, with no judgment, just ears.

Responsibility, Stupidity, and Gunshow's

Yesterday Roy, Zach, and I went to a gun show in Jonesboro. I originally went to my brother's to look at pawn shops. I am getting interested in hunting, and self-defense. I am going to take a concealed carry class next month. Anyways, while we were at one of the pawn shops, a guy asked if we were going to the gun show. Seeing as looking at guns was my primary purpose for my visit we decided that was the place to be. We went and were there for about 30 minutes when we heard a loud explosion about 75 feet away. Someone had discharged an "unloaded" weapon. Let me explain some of the goings on at these gun shows. Vendors bring thousands of guns and display them for sell or trade. They also bring ammo for sell. They have to "tie" something in the chamber so that the weapon is verified unloaded. Any one off the street can bring in a gun also. It is checked and tied by the gate people to ensure it is unloaded. All of these guns can be untied to show perspective customers that the actions work to their liking. This is what happened with the "unloaded" weapon that was discharged. A vendor untied a piston for a customer to look at, then as he was placing it back on the table, another gentleman asked to look at it. This second customer held the weapon, pointed it at the wall and discharged it.

A disclaimer real quick, This is the information my brother and I heard first hand, we did not see what took place, back to the story.

Somehow, between these two guys, a round was placed in the chamber and discharged. Concerning the second guy, who pulls the trigger on a weapon with no round in the chamber. Secondly, who handles a gun without first watching the bolt close on an empty chamber? Thirdly, who points at something they do not intend to shoot, with their finger on the trigger? All three actions are completely irresponsible, and frankly, Stupid. Maybe it comes from being in the Marine Corp. Maybe it comes from growing up around people who always had guns, but this individual did something totally retarded.

The first gentleman, believing what the vendor said, has committed attempted murder in my view. This is someone who places a round in a weapon that thousands of people will handle throughout the weekend believing it is unloaded. This is someone who hates guns, and is willing to go to extremes to get rid of them, or at least get them regulated into extinction. If someone had been shot, what would the city have done? How much outcry would we have heard over the harm guns do, and in extension, gun shows. It's not unreasonable to believe there would have been strict ordinances placed on this town. I believe that was the individual's intention.

Being stupid is not a crime, having harmful intent and taking action to carry it out is. It would be impossible to place that weapon in the first individuals hand. I hardly believe in eye witness testimony by one individual. The room was full of policemen, what better place for a person who carries a gun everyday to be. The first individual was not even looked for. The bigger this incident is the worse it is for gun owners. If someone had been shot, with no doubt, I believe the first individual would have been found, and an investigation done.

It doesn't scare me off of gun shows, it does make me even more cautious around people I do not know handling guns. For those who may not think about it, stupidity is curable. I do not call every one who would make this mistake stupid. I think a 50 year old man who goes to gun shows, and pulls triggers on "unloaded" weapons stupid. If you are around guns, trust no one, treat every weapon as though it was loaded, do not pull the trigger no matter what, do not aim at anything you do not intend to shoot.

Lastly, no individuals cause is worth another individuals death. If you have a passion good, express it peacefully good. Others have causes they are equally passionate about, don't cut their lives short for your expression.

thoughts on blogging......thoughts

I have not been blogging long, and certainly not often during that time. Our church likes people to write in a journal. I believe that this is a good start to my doing that, with some censuring. I have written in my journal before, not very much, but I did write my deepest feelings. I suspect that someday, someone may read them and be less than surprised. Even in my journal I do not believe I had the ability to write openly. I am very self critical, not that that criticism leads to improvement. It is really not constructive criticism, maybe a bit overly self-conscience. Either way, I am hoping that this is an outlet that will help me more fully recognize those emotions I fear, and work at correcting the destructive ones. My wish is that putting thoughts to paper, openly, will lead to open discussions. I seem to hold my tongue more that I would like to. I know this comes from not holding it enough as a youth, and as an adult fearing the repercussions of poor judgment when it pertains to tact. I do not believe a person should hold in their thoughts, I do however, believe that they should voice them in a manner that is constructive, not offensive. Now with no real link, moving on.

We had a baptism tonight at our branch. It was nice. A 10 year old girl and an 8 year old boy (siblings) were baptized. It was by no means an empty meeting, but not as many people as should have showed. Truly it was only our family, their family, and one other family, plus the branch president. I think people are missing out in our area by not attending spiritual events. I think this is a good chance for people to feel the spirit they may be missing, or have forgotten, without having to really participate. Just being there can be enough.

This leads to a point that digs at me. We in this area, have been given a facility that is not being used enough, by anyone. It is frustrating to know how much could be going on that is not. I am not throwing stones, just voicing frustration at a communal lack of interest.

Maybe an odd stopping point but, "it is what it is"

Friends

This past weekend I helped a friend pack to move away. I was not the only person helping. About 4 of our mutual friends showed up (males, two with their wives), to help him get the majority of his families large belongings loaded. When Jodie and I first heard of their leaving, we were both disheartened. It actually was very depressing. Our friends consist mostly of church members. People probably get tired of hearing us talk about it, but we have been the only couple our age to come to church regularly for the past eight years. There have been several couples, in recent years, move into our branch that are in very similar circumstances. It seems that we are standing still in a vast hole with little or no movement, while those around us come and go freely without restriction. Maybe that's a little overly dramatic, but it is my feeling. I regret not forming a better relationship with our friends, one that might carry on over long distance. We should have made a stronger effort to really develop lasting bonds of friendship. That is what I am most sad about. We do have other friends, but relationships with all of them that are very much the same. I accept some responsibility for the way they have evolved, but not all. We should all make a better effort to reach out, even those that feel they should have the hand of friendship extended to them. I had a discussion today with some less active people of our church. There seems to be a real resentment of people who are not actively pursuing contact, towards those who are. What I mean is, people who are not engaged in our church feel that others should always reach out to them. This is true, but occasionally they should reach back. Someone who is constantly asking why people do not visit them, should ask themselves, when is the last time they visited those who they expect should be visiting them. I have watched people who always do the traveling, give up. When they stop traveling to do the visiting most time the relationship ends. Then the ones who never traveled are resentful that they no longer have people coming to see them. I wonder if I am like the former or the latter. I believe I am the former. Not that this is better. I believe I reach out to people, because I seek their attention, but eventually I will quit reaching if I feel I am doing all the work. This has happened in the past, and to some extent I believe it still does. I know that I seek the attention to fill some void, and it is exploiting people. I also feel that I try to extend myself, and help provide some amount of void filling presence. I do not like being alone, and thus, feel all people are that way. Obviously that is not true, it is a sickness that I suffer (not mentally ill sickness, a delusion I recognize). Additionally, contrary to popular belief, I do not like confrontation, so I do not speak out to people I feel are not pulling their weight in our relationships, except Jodie. Her I can confront, but because I do not believe she will leave. Hard as our relationship is sometimes, she is still here, and I cherish her for that. People (including myself) should be more introspective. Self perception is often marred by ego. But no one knows what one is feeling unless they tell. Look inward, if you feel less than what you should, try to repair what you see. I am just rambling. I do not put Sara and Aaron in this category. We were all very busy while they were here. I am sad to see them go, and hope to continue a healthy relationship with them. These are thoughts that have begun to plague me recently. I want friendships, lasting ones. I am jealous of Jodie. She sees people every day that she recognizes as friends, she also is living in the same town she was born in. I move a lot and therefore do not have life long friends. I wish to start building them, and hope to find others like myself. If you read this, We miss you Aaron and Sarah, and hope to see you this summer.